How to Set Boundaries Without Being a Jerk (The Cat Way)

What My Cat Taught Me About Freedom

Have you ever tried calling a cat? Not like a dog—where you clap, they sprint, and their tail is wagging so hard it might launch them into orbit—but a cat. You call, and they just… stare. Maybe they flick an ear, maybe they don’t. Most of the time, they couldn’t care less about your existence. Unless, of course, it’s dinner time. Then suddenly, you’re the most important person in their life.

And that’s when it hit me: cats are the OG philosophers of self-respect and boundaries.

The Sassy Creatures Get It

Here’s the thing about cats: they don’t beg for attention. They don’t adjust themselves to make you happy. They’re not sitting there wondering, Did I meow too much? Did I make it weird when I knocked the glass off the counter? No, they’re living their best lives, unapologetically themselves, and if you’re lucky, they’ll let you be part of it. For five minutes. Then it’s back to ignoring you.

Compare that to us humans—especially those of us who’ve been guilt-tripped into attending awkward family dinners, staying late at work, or answering texts from people we don’t even like. Somewhere along the way, we stopped acting like cats and started acting like golden retrievers: desperate to please, constantly apologizing, and wagging our metaphorical tails even when we’re exhausted.

The Art of Selective Availability

Cats are masters of selective availability. They don’t give everyone access to their energy. And why should they? Their time is valuable! It’s not their fault you don’t understand the higher purpose of napping in sunbeams for hours.

Humans, though? We hand out our time like it’s free candy. We say “yes” to everything: plans we don’t want, favors we can’t deliver, conversations that drain us. And then we wonder why we’re burned out.

But what if we started taking a page out of the cat handbook? What if we stopped being so… available? Not in a rude way—just in a respect your own vibe kind of way. Imagine saying “no” more often, prioritizing your energy, and only engaging with people or situations that actually light you up. Revolutionary, right?

Living on Your Terms

The beauty of cats is that they live on their terms. They don’t compromise their comfort for anyone. If they want to sit on your laptop while you’re working, that’s what they’re doing. If they want to sleep for 16 hours a day, they’re not asking permission. They’re not worried about being judged—they’re too busy doing exactly what makes them happy.

And here’s the kicker: you can do that too. You don’t have to say yes to every invitation, reply to every message, or explain yourself every time you make a choice. You’re allowed to set boundaries. You’re allowed to do what makes you happy—even if that’s just sitting in your metaphorical sunbeam and ignoring the world for a while.

Final Thoughts

Cats teach us that freedom isn’t about rebellion; it’s about respect—self-respect. It’s about knowing your worth and not handing out your energy to people who don’t deserve it. It’s about deciding, unapologetically, that you’re going to live life on your terms.

So the next time someone expects too much of you, channel your inner cat. Flick an ear. Take a nap. And remember: you’re not here to please everyone. You’re here to be free.